Raincoaster as a deity?
Apologies to Metro (and if you/raincoaster do mind I'll delete it) but I just had to rip this comment off. This thread was just too good not to draw attention to:
Metro said here:
Y’know–I always had a problem with that idea. An omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent God killed his own son/himself for my sins–(mine specifically?). Or at the very least handed him over.
But–couldn’t he have avoided, y’know, the whole business of having to manifest himself as human and then get tortured to death by just making up his mind that I wouldn’t do any of those sinful things? Seems to lack efficiency, this guy. Bit of a drama queen, really.
Also, he seems to disapprove, if I get his followers’ rantings right, of sex, drinking, dancing, and not wearing funny hats. Not to mention uncovered women (a consummation most devoutly to be wished, from where I stand), pork, and Jews, Muslims, Christians …
And if you incur his displeasure, he has this place called “hell” planned for you, where you will be on fire, raped by demons, or possibly simply vanish. For ever. Anyway, he won’t let you into his house.
Unless you take him home and make him yours. And tell your friends. And spend the rest of your life not doing things in his name (often while doing other, equally vile things in his). The rest of your life, spent on your knees. Then he might forgive you and let you chill in his crib after you snuff it.
Raincoaster doesn’t mind if you smoke or drink–hell, she might even join you. Like the tide “might” rise. I’m fairly sure she’s okay with the dancing and nude ladies (or equivalent), too.
But–and as Orson Welles said, it’s a big but: IF you manage to offend her she will NOT send you to be set fire to by demons. She may pout until her face cracks, she might not speak to you for simply ages. But she won’t actually throw you into her own lake of fire.
In fact, she is quite likely to eventually forgive you even without sustained begging. And then you can come to her place and hang out, like. And drink and smoke (on the patio, anyway).
That’s pretty big of her, doncha think?
Certainly bigger than Jesus.
Metro said here:
Y’know–I always had a problem with that idea. An omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent God killed his own son/himself for my sins–(mine specifically?). Or at the very least handed him over.
But–couldn’t he have avoided, y’know, the whole business of having to manifest himself as human and then get tortured to death by just making up his mind that I wouldn’t do any of those sinful things? Seems to lack efficiency, this guy. Bit of a drama queen, really.
Also, he seems to disapprove, if I get his followers’ rantings right, of sex, drinking, dancing, and not wearing funny hats. Not to mention uncovered women (a consummation most devoutly to be wished, from where I stand), pork, and Jews, Muslims, Christians …
And if you incur his displeasure, he has this place called “hell” planned for you, where you will be on fire, raped by demons, or possibly simply vanish. For ever. Anyway, he won’t let you into his house.
Unless you take him home and make him yours. And tell your friends. And spend the rest of your life not doing things in his name (often while doing other, equally vile things in his). The rest of your life, spent on your knees. Then he might forgive you and let you chill in his crib after you snuff it.
Raincoaster doesn’t mind if you smoke or drink–hell, she might even join you. Like the tide “might” rise. I’m fairly sure she’s okay with the dancing and nude ladies (or equivalent), too.
But–and as Orson Welles said, it’s a big but: IF you manage to offend her she will NOT send you to be set fire to by demons. She may pout until her face cracks, she might not speak to you for simply ages. But she won’t actually throw you into her own lake of fire.
In fact, she is quite likely to eventually forgive you even without sustained begging. And then you can come to her place and hang out, like. And drink and smoke (on the patio, anyway).
That’s pretty big of her, doncha think?
Certainly bigger than Jesus.
posted by Philipa at 3:43 AM
14 comments
